2026 season · Week 6 recap / Week 7 preview · Final scores checked October 20
KVWN ended Santa’s unbeaten run 127.90–74.50. Ditka led the league with 131.35. Globo followed up last week’s explosion with 124.55. Meanwhile, Puppet won with 87.80 because apparently the standings accept coupons.
The median fell to 86.85. Six teams cleared it; several others looked at that very manageable number and decided to become a cautionary tale. Everybody gets a turn in the barrel this week.
Love wins by 31.90. Jonathan Taylor and Alvin Kamara supply 34.00 RB points; Matthew Golden adds 19.40. Lady Luck gets only 12.20 from its two RBs. Bijan and Bucky apparently split a single lunch break.
Lady Luck’s projection was a press release. The Love Shack brought an actual team.
Globo makes it two straight. Maye scores 26.15, Cook 22.80, Nabers 22.50, and Likely 20.90. Ralph’s starting RBs combine for 9.50. Kyle Pitts puts up 20.50 and still cannot get this vehicle out of the ditch.
Ralph’s comeback lasted one week. Globo has upgraded from suspicious wiring to a legitimate fire hazard.
The unbeaten run ends by 53.40 points. Shough posts 28.40, McCaffrey 26.20, and Germie Bernard 20.20. Santa’s three starting WRs combine for 15.30. This was not a close game with a bad break. This was a televised eviction.
Santa’s record is 5–1. This week’s scoring rank is 12th. Both facts will be mentioned at dinner.
Puppet wins by 11.55 while finishing just 0.95 above the median. Daniels scores 24.00 and Carnell Tate 16.00. C-Kupps gets 21.65 from Cousins and 19.00 from defense plus kicker; the starting WRs and TE produce 15.70 combined.
Puppet gets a fifth win. C-Kupps gets another week of calling this a rebuild.
M.J. wins by 23.85 behind Walker’s 26.90 and Stroud’s 26.10. Dearborn gets 14.00 RB points, 25.20 WR points, and a clean zero at TE. The all-play grievance department has no jurisdiction over this performance.
This time, Dearborn did not get fucked by the schedule. It brought the wrong paperwork to its own complaint hearing.
Ditka leads the league. Swift scores 21.00, Smith-Njigba 19.40, Douglas 16.10, and Loveland 15.50. Roboto’s Mahomes scores 13.20 and Skattebo records zero. Ditka’s 49.40 WR points nearly double Roboto’s 26.20 RB total.
The hurricane is real again. Roboto has been placed in a bag of rice.
Verified ESPN pairings. Week 6 receipts and current records; no winner picks.
Both are 3–3. M.J. just won with 99.90; Lady Luck just posted 75.20. One roster needs the running backs to clock back in. The other would like Stroud and Walker to keep carrying the entire fucking group project.
Puppet is 5–1 after winning with 87.80. Roboto is 3–3 after scoring 82.60. Two managers enter with radically different records and a shared talent for making the scoreboard look like a dial-up connection.
The lowest scorer from Week 6 meets the highest. Santa has spent six weeks convincing everyone it is a contender. Ditka has spent one week convincing Roboto to unplug the router. The undefeated aura is gone; the excuse factory remains open.
1–5 meets 2–4. Ralph just scored 85.90; Dearborn scored 76.05. The losing manager will spend Monday explaining that this was somehow still a quality loss. The winning manager should probably keep the celebration indoors.
The Shack is 4–2 after winning with a zero in the flex. C-Kupps is 1–5 after losing with 19 points from defense and kicker. One lineup can absorb a missing chair. The other is trying to furnish an apartment entirely with folding tables.
127.90 meets 124.55 from last week. Globo has scored 285.45 over the last two weeks; KVWN just dismantled Santa. Finally, a matchup where the phrase “shootout” is not describing two managers arguing about who forgot to set a lineup.
Cumulative all-play wins through Week 6; total points break ties. Movement compares the same method after Week 5.
| Rank / Team | Move | Record | All-play | Weekly verdict |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. Dearborn Dirkas | — | 2-4 | 47–19 | 76.05. This week the schedule is acquitted on all charges. The lineup has been asked to stay behind for questioning. |
| 2. KVWN San Diego | ↑ 2 | 4-2 | 45–21 | 127.90 and a 53.40-point demolition of Santa. The broadcast is back, and this week it is a fucking emergency alert. |
| 3. Puppet Master | ↑ 2 | 5-1 | 39–27 | 87.80, a win, and a 5–1 record. Puppet is charging playoff admission for community-theater scoring. |
| 4. Santas Naughty Elfs | ↓ 2 | 5-1 | 37–29 | 74.50. Dead last this week. Santa’s undefeated season was repossessed in broad daylight by a local television station. |
| 5. Lady Luck's Leprechauns | ↓ 2 | 3-3 | 37–29 | 75.20 after being projected at 126.4 in last week’s preview. Lady Luck did not merely leave the building; she took the copper wiring. |
| 6. The Love Shack | ↑ 1 | 4-2 | 36–30 | 107.10 despite a zero from the flex. The Shack beat Lady Luck with a chair missing and still had room for guests. |
| 7. Team M.J. | ↓ 1 | 3-3 | 36–30 | 99.90 and a comfortable win. Stroud and Walker supplied 53.00; everyone else mostly signed the group project. |
| 8. Hurricane Ditka | — | 2-4 | 34–32 | 131.35 and the week’s top score. Reports of this hurricane’s downgrade were apparently filed by Roboto’s defense. |
| 9. Globo Gym | ↑ 3 | 3-3 | 23–43 | 124.55 after 160.90. Fine. The treadmill is plugged in. We apologize to the electrical outlet. |
| 10. Mr. Roboto | ↓ 1 | 3-3 | 22–44 | 82.60. A Roomba that was previously getting promoted for falling down the stairs has finally reached the basement. |
| 11. Wreck It Ralphs | — | 1-5 | 20–46 | 85.90 and 1–5. The first-win parade has been cancelled after exactly one block. |
| 12. C-Kupps | ↓ 2 | 1-5 | 20–46 | 76.25 and 1–5. The Broncos and kicker combined for 19. The rest of this roster should be embarrassed to share their Wi-Fi. |
Ordered by wins, then total points for display.
| Team | Record | Points / week | Median record | All-play | Avg. vs median |
|---|